Lesson 1. Friendships that Count

Lately, I have been fed with new lessons from life and I believe at some point, you will be able to relate to my notions. So, this is going to be a mini-series of stories where I will share one lesson at a time. Here we go…

Friends are always a blessing in our lives. We believe we have so many folks as friends, while the harsh truth is, there are barely a few who actually know you as a person.

Growing up as an extrovert, making friends was easier for me. While it was recently, I literally counted the number of friends I still keep touch with and the numbers were surprising; less than five!

I find I have lost so many connections. The friends I nominated as best friends forever in my head, I barely know where they are and what they are doing with their lives! No, I don’t have complaints on that. It’s completely understandable for me now.

We cannot force connections or chase after people, requesting for their time, unless they genuinely feel the need to spend time with us. I was slow-witted, where I believed friends are supposed to be there during all the trials and errors in life. Apparently, I was wrong. I could see the calls turning to WhatsApp messages, WhatsApp messages turning to monthly catch-ups and now monthly catch-ups have resorted to yearly catch-ups for leaving a Happy New Year text message. And that’s life!

Your world will get smaller as you grow or as the evolution occurs. You will start respecting boundaries and you will start setting boundaries. There’s something profoundly special about childhood and college friends. They’ve known us for a significant period, which creates a deep trust within our hearts. This trust is built through shared experiences and meaningful conversations, making us to believe in them wholeheartedly. I don’t know if you have the same reflections, but I’m scared of making new friends. I consider twice before dragging anyone into my circle. I’m always in a dilemma while I make new friends.

Perhaps we all desire friendships where we feel irreplaceable. Recently, during a conversation with one of my college friends, she shared her perspective on real connections: ‘If we’re close friends and you reaches out to me for an advice or a heart-to-heart, my unavailability at that moment should never prompt you to seek an advice from someone else. If that occurs, it simply proves that I’m replaceable.’ I couldn’t agree more on this. What do you think? I’m happy to hear your part of the story.

I believed I could make close friends in the office and I promise, I never knew the difference between a colleague as a friend and a real-friend. This might sound awkward, but believe me, there is a huge difference between these two! Most people are not concerned about what your life looks like before and after 8am to 5pm!

So, coming to the first lesson of our story, it is the meaningful rapport and productive talks devoid of judgments that matter, without being concerned anymore about the number of friends; choosing quality over quantity.

Let me know if all these are my baseless thoughts or do you have similar experiences in your walk of life. I will catch up with another lesson sooner. See you then!

With love,

Manasa